01.24.2007
After 18 years, for the first time I am not feeling connected to my Guru, Ameyananda. She has mostly withdrawn from public activity, and the sense of her presence has dwindled at the local meditation center. This is not something new. It's not a phase. It has been unfolding over the course of the last few years. My chanting practice, along with meditation and mantra repetition, has fallen away like a leaf from a tree in autumn. This is to say naturally. Still, without my Teacher’s nearness in my life I feel I am afloat without an oar and without direction on the ocean of samsara. The pain is too great. One evening in real anguish, I sit down at my altar and ask, “Lord, who is my master?”
Shortly after this I go to bed and fall asleep. I cannot call what happens next a dream. It wasn’t a vision either. I received an important message from within my own being.
How else shall I put it?
Message:
A determined knock is heard on my inner windowpane at about 11:45 PM. I am sleeping. Still, I am very much aware that someone is knocking at my window. The room I occupy in the subtle realm is not my bedroom in the waking world, nor is the window my normal bedside window. Even so, it is without doubt my room. The knocking half awakens me. I turn on my left side and answer, “Yes?”
A voice like no voice I have ever heard before, in an accent harking to another time and place, says:
“Iesous is your master.”
“Who?” I ask, startled.
“Iesous.”
A golden light inside the crown of my head, showering down from the sahasrar chakra, illuminates my inner being. This light ignites my subtle body, flushing it in its warm, golden glow.
“Okay,” I say, agreeing to this news.
I fall back to sleep.
Iesous [ee-yes’soos] is the Greek pronunciation of the Aramaic name Yeshua, which we pronounce as “Jesus” in English.
[Photo: David Headland. Comet McNaught over Oamaru, South Island, NZ]
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